24-Hour Crisis Hotline: (877)SAFEGBC or (877)723-3422 Mental Health & Substance Abuse Issues

Navigation Link
Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
Ask Anne
Relationship Questions

Antisocial And Uncommunicative

Seven years ago, I met a person on the Internet, and we hit it off instantly. We were the same age, had all the same interests, and we quickly developed a strong rapport. A few years ago, we even started collaborating on a comic book of sorts- he drawing the pictures and I working on the dialog. It was this summer that this friend and I actually met for the first time- he was just out of high school and went on a trip to visit people around the country, my house being one of his several stops. I was excited beyond words to finally have the opportunity to meet my cyber chum, and I spent days scrubbing the house from floor to floor and coming up with fun activities for us to do together. And then he arrived...despite my sincerest efforts to play the perfect host, my friend proved to be antisocial and uncommunicative (sometimes not even responding to my questions), spending 95% of his time here either on my computer or sleeping. When he left, I was utterly heartbroken. And then, when I read the assessment of the trip that my friend posted on his website, my sadness quickly turned to hatred. He had glowing, wonderful things to say about everyone he had visited, but when it came to me, all he mentioned was how uncomfortably humid my house was and that my town was "quaint." It was at this same time that my friend submitted our comic book to a publication company without even telling me about it (he wanted to be published more than anything in the world). I tried to talk with him on this matter, but he wouldn't respond to my e-mails or messages. After a week, I became so enraged by his silence that I contacted the publishing company and told them that the comic had been submitted without my authorization, and I would not allow it to be published. A few days later, however, after a great deal of thinking, I came to regret my action, and I wrote a lengthy apology to my friend, mentioning what I had done with regard to contacting the publishing company. After his week of silence, he instantly became extremely vocal, bombarding my inbox with letter after letter littered with curses and profanities and such statements as "How could you!?" and "You ruined my life!" only ceasing when I told him that I had withdrawn my statement to the publishing company. That was the last I heard from him, five months ago, and even now it haunts me. Not a day goes by that I don't think about what happened. There are days when I feel guilty for what I did, and other days I feel angry for not having done more. But I just can't go on living like this. The event has left me emotionally battered and torn. Part of me still wishes to renew that friendship that we enjoyed for over seven years, and another part of me wants nothing to do with this person who so easily cast aside those seven years for the sake of his driving ambition. I've attempted to just forget about him, but the memories always come back, and I've already tried to apologize, only to have it thrown back into my face. I just don't know what to do...



  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
  • 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
  • Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
  • Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
  • No correspondence takes place.
  • No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
  • 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
  • Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.