I am a 34 yr. old female, educated, good job, homeowner, people say I am very attractive, but have trouble with relationships, i.e., I can\'t seem to hold on to one. Anytime I start seeing a man I am attracted to, he always ends up leaving, and I am left feeling rejected and not good enough. I know I have a problem with self-esteem-my father and stepmother constantly told me as a child that I was ugly, stupid, and that I would never make it in life. I have consistently been abandoned. My mom died when I was 13, and my parents were already divorced. My dad left years before she died (they were both remarried). I think I have just been reliving my dad leaving and rejecting me through the relationships I have had with men. I am getting too old, I want to have a healthy relationship. People say \"You need to get some self-esteem, learn to love yourself before you can have a relationship.\" My question is, how do you get self-esteem if you never learned it as a child? Is it too late? I am also suffering from a severe eating disorder that I have had since the age of 12, which definitely makes me feel even worse about myself. As I get older, I find myself getting more depressed about life in general. Please help.
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.